Recently, I watched “Look Who’s Talking”, within days of commiserating with two friends about their relationship woes. One is steeling herself to break up with her married lover’s wife on his behalf because he “just doesn’t have the heart” to do it himself. The other is bitter that she has to job-hunt for her lazy husband. By the way, this guy was lazy and lacked initiative as a boyfriend and as a fiancé.
As I watched the sperm swim up Kirstie Alley’s uterus and through her fallopian tubes in a contest to fertilise her egg, I couldn’t help but wonder if my two friends would be having such issues if women behaved more like eggs – calmly letting only the best sperm in.
Although millions of sperm are released, only the best reach the ovum. Sperm must contend with cervical mucus, immobilizing acidity and other obstacles on their journey toward their goal. Just as this is nature’s way of weeding out all the unfit sperm, in order to create the best offspring, I suspect that we would all end up in better relationships if we only accepted the best men.
Sperm and egg are the quintessence of feminine and masculine energy. Feminine energy is a passive, receiving energy; masculine energy is an active, doing energy. The feminine inspires the masculine to aspire; to become more. But we seem to have so little faith in our men (or ourselves?) that instead of allowing them become good men before they ‘fertilise’ us we lower our standards, ‘swimming to the cervical mouth to meet them’. As a result they have little incentive to become more. As Cher once observed; “The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing – and then they marry him”. Paradoxically, while settling for inferior men, we’ve compensated by becoming great men ourselves!
“Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry” – Gloria Steinem, 60s activist.
I am willing to put my neck on the line and say if we, women, raised our standards, men would meet them. If we didn’t hook up with men who don’t even have enough balls to end their own marriages or marry lazy, unmotivated men, there would be fewer men who are lazy, spineless, unreliable, etc. I would be in good company too, because that is exactly what Charles Darwin, of the Survival of the Fittest Theory, concluded in his Theory of Sexual Selection. Paraphrased it says, women set the bar for who will get laid.
If tomorrow, for example, all women on the planet decided to sleep only with men with rock hard abs (I wish) soon enough all men capable of having six packs, will. The same goes for any other trait; honesty, fidelity, drive, etc. The operative word here is ALL. At the moment most under-achieving men can always find another woman, waiting at the mouth of the cervix, willing to have them.