Pay your Attention with Care

Pay your attention with care. You have no idea how much you “buy” with it. Attention is a very powerful thing:

(1) Along with the breath it is a primordial YES!
(2) It’s to everything what STEROIDS are to that scary guy in the gym, with no neck and a V-shaped body.
(3) It is love

Sparkle loving a pot plant in flower fairy gear


Attention is how you say yes to things. You cannot experience something that you are not paying any attention to. How many times have you discovered a mysterious cut on your body and it only starts aching once you notice it? Granted sometimes things grab your attention without your permission, like if a car were to ram in to you. On the other hand you can spend an entire movie sending SMSes and miss it completely because despite being in the cinema your attention was elsewhere.

In its minutest form, everything is made of the same substance, quanta (as in Quantum Physics); which is essentially energy. Energy is the building block of everything. So it stands to reason that to increase something, anything, you need to invest more energy into it. AND where attention goes energy flows, so – stay with me here – energy is given to whatever you pay attention to, leading to the expansion of that thing. Where attention goes energy flows, and where energy flows stuff grows.

Too often we pay attention to things that we definitely do not want more of. For example we love to war against things we do not want; the war against drugs, crime, AIDS, global warming, etc. The last time I checked, globally and locally we had a bigger drug problem than ever before, crime in SA is on a continual increase, and our HIV infection rates are frightening, still. Where attention goes energy flows, where energy flows stuff grows – drugs, crime, AIDS…

Soon it will be 16 Days of Activism AGAINST (in SA) abuse of women and children and (internationally)gender violence. Again the emphasis and attention is on what we don’t want – abuse of women and children. Now whatever you do, do NOT think of a pink elephant wearing a tutu and ballet shoes. There are many things you did NOT think about, but I bet a pink elephant wearing a tutu and ballet shoes is not one of them.

Attention is love. People, pets and plants thrive when given attention. Charismatic people like Mandela are often described with phrases such as “he makes you feel like the only person in the room”. Attention makes us feel valued. Any form of attention is often better than no attention at all. A neglected puppy may bite your toe  just to get your attention, even if it is a kick in the nose. A neglected teenager may turn into the school slut, because any attention is better than no attention at all. Think of the black sheep of your family, apparently every family has one. They sure get a lot of attention for their antics! Do you think that person would get as much attention if they were not bad, rebellious or difficult? Do you think they would continue their behaviour if people stopped giving their antics so much attention?

Kelly Bundy, Married With Children. Remember Her?

Attention is love. Treat it that way. How much attention do we give to lousy men; abusers, jerks, liars and cheaters? We can talk about them for hours, and we do! How much of our energy is sent in the direction of good men – the ones who protect us, provide for us and generally make us feel good? Not nearly as much as what we devote to jerks! Breaking up with them, making up with them, calling them jerks, consoling our friend who is hooked on them, trying to understand them, redeem them ,etc.

You give it attention you say to it, “yes, I invite you into my experience”.
You give it attention you say “supersize it please”.
You give it attention you say “I love this”.

It is for this reason that last year in November I started The Good Men Appreciation Campaign, so that, especially in this month, when so much attention will be given to what we don’t want, we foster some balance by saying “Yes”, “More please”, “we love you” –to good men. If you’ve never been to the site or haven’t been for a while check it outhere, now.

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